In an independent living facility in Wilmington, a 95-year-old woman named Marie Kilkenny is about to receive the gift of a lifetime. It isn’t something that can be wrapped in a box, but rather, bound between covers. It is her life story, a memoir decade in the making, finally being published by her devoted daughter.
The project, a labor of familial love titled Four in a Tub, is more than a collection of anecdotes; it is a testament to the resilience of a large Irish-Catholic family, the unbreakable bonds between siblings, and the powerful voice of a woman who lived through nearly a century of American history. The driving force behind bringing this story to print is Marie’s eldest daughter, Rory. In a recent interview, Rory shared the poignant journey of her mother’s memoir, a project that began not with a publisher’s contract, but in a Florida writing club three decades ago.
“Her whole life really revolved around her experience with such a large family,” Rory explained. “The stories were always there, but she herself had six children. She spent many years raising children and didn’t have time to write”. It was in retirement, after moving from New York to Florida, that Marie found her creative spark. She joined a writing club, and for 30 years, she was a disciplined member, submitting stories each week to be shared with the class.
“It grew into a group of friends, and people were very supportive,” Rory said. “She would share her story and then talk a little bit more about her family. She ventured into other things; she talked about the war… my dad was in World War Two.” Over the years, these stories accumulated into a substantial collection. In her final months in Florida, Marie compiled them into a loose, bound book at a local copy shop. “She kept saying she wanted to do a book, but really, she’s 95,” Rory said with a soft laugh. “So, my sisters and I wanted to help her with that.”
The memoir, “Four in a Tub”, gets its name from the practical logistics of bathing a sprawling family. Her stories paint a vivid picture of a Brooklyn and Queens childhood, filled with the chaos and camaraderie that only a family of that size can generate. Rory emphasizes that the book’s power lies in its authentic voice. “If you knew her and you read this, you would know who it was,” she said. “My brother-in-law said, ‘This is Marie. Don’t over-edit it.’ He said, ‘It’s like I’m listening to her.’”
For Rory, the process of compiling the memoir was also one of discovery. “Oh, many, many, many,” she said when asked about surprises in her mother’s stories. “Even though she did share a lot, when you’re growing up, you’re not as inquisitive… I never really read [the stories]. When she put them in the book, I realized that there was gold there.” That “gold” includes tales of profound family unity, especially after the death of their mother when Marie was just six years old. The older sisters stepped up, becoming surrogate parents and holding the family together with a fierce, loving determination.
“It’s a story of a large family uniting and just taking care of one another,” Rory said. “I just love that.” The memoir does not shy away from life’s hardships, including Marie’s long-held resentment toward her father, who struggled with the immense burden of raising his children alone and became a “visiting uncle” for a time. Rory believes the act of writing helped her mother find clarity and forgiveness.
“She later on, as she got older, resented that… she felt like he abandoned them,” Rory noted. “But after a while, I think writing the stories and writing about their life brought some clarity to her… She understood him more. It was not that he didn’t love them. He just… it was just too much for him.”
Throughout the stories, two pillars stand firm: family and faith. Marie’s Catholic belief is a guiding force in her narrative. “Her faith is very important to her,” Rory shared. “I wish I had her faith… At 95, she says, ‘Look, I have had a good life and when God wants me, he’ll take me.’ And she’s not afraid of dying because of her faith.”
For Rory and her sisters, this project was never about commercial success. It was a promise to their mother. “I’m just doing it for my mom,” Rory stated unequivocally. “This is purely to document it and to make her day… It’s always hard to find a gift for her, but this is going to be the best gift.”
So, what does this book represent for Marie Kilkenny at 95? “I think that this is something she really wants to leave to her grandchildren, her great-grandchildren,” Rory reflected. “It’s a history. It’s a window to what she went through… I think she’s going to be over the moon when she sees the book.”
Four in a Tub is more than a memoir; it is a bridge across generations, a love letter to a family’s enduring spirit, and the final, beautiful word from a mother who has spent a lifetime observing, loving, and remembering. It proves that every life, when given the chance to be heard, is an epic.
About the Author
Marie Phillips Kilkenny, born in Brooklyn in 1930, was one of twenty siblings. She went on to raise six children and became the guiding force of a family that now spans four generations. Her memoir, “Four in a Tub” captures a hundred years of faith, kinship, and resilience, safeguarding a heritage of togetherness for her descendants and for anyone drawn to the quiet beauty of daily life.
