“Saturday Night Live” crucified President Donald Trump over his ongoing tariff campaign throughout this week’s chilly open.
A parody of Christ driving moneylenders from the temple of Jerusalem got here to a screeching halt when James Austin Johnson’s Trump burst in and smugly requested, “Remind you of anyone?”
“I also got rid of money last week, but instead of one temple, I did a whole country. Maybe even the globe,” he bragged. “The money’s gone.”
Praising himself, Johnson’s Trump dupe advised audiences, “Hi, it’s me, your favorite president, Donald Jesus Trump, comparing myself to the son of God once again. Many people are even calling me the Messiah for the mess I made out of the economy. All because of my beautiful tariffs.”
All hell broke free when Trump introduced his unprecedented import tax agenda initially of this month, prompting inventory markets throughout the globe to enter free fall.
However after per week of financial bedlam, the commander in chief abruptly paused most country-specific tariffs for 90 days whereas holding a blanket 10% tax in place. Smiting China, nonetheless, he hiked an already steep 54% obligation on Beijing to a staggering 145%.
“They were working so well that I had to stop them,” Johnson’s Trump winked. “I said, let me cook, and then I burned dinner badly so we had to stop.”
Christening himself some form of financial savior, he declared, “Now, everything is back exactly how it was, minus a few trillion dollars and a historic transfer of wealth from the middle class to my buddies.”
“It’s true. The stock market did a Jesus,” Johnson mentioned. “It died, then on the third day, it was risen. And then on the fourth day, it died again. Possibly, never to return, just like Jesus.”
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Whereas Trump’s tariff pause did enable seesawing Wall Road numbers to rally final week, consultants nonetheless warn that the ripple results of any world commerce turmoil may nonetheless push the U.S. financial system right into a recession.
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